Some folks pass through life quietly—minding their business, waving hello, keeping the peace. Others treat their cul-de-sac like a private fiefdom. Lindsey fell squarely into the second group.
My husband Jack and I had barely settled into our short-term rental when Lindsey appeared on our porch with a plate of cookies and a warning. Though both of our cars were neatly tucked into our own driveway, she informed us—bright smile, icy eyes—that the HOA permitted just one vehicle per home, “no exceptions.”
Three mornings later we woke to the clatter of two tow trucks. Both cars were already off the ground, and Lindsey, wrapped in a robe and cradling a coffee mug, watched from across the street with unmistakable satisfaction. No citation, no notice—just Lindsey’s private payback.
But she’d overlooked a small detail: the government property decals on each windshield. Jack’s job involved a classified contract, and the fleet carried a $25,000 liability penalty for unauthorized tampering.
I calmly told the tow operator—and Lindsey—that moving the cars would trigger that charge. Then I placed a discreet call reporting civilian interference with federal property.
The next morning a black SUV stopped in front of Lindsey’s house. A suited agent explained that by initiating the tow she had disrupted a government operation and now faced a $25,000 damages claim and an open investigation. Lindsey went ghost-white; the coffee cup slipped from her hand and shattered on the steps.
She was told not to leave town until the inquiry ended. After that, the once-assertive neighbor vanished from view. No more HOA lectures, no more baked-good greetings—just closed curtains and wilting roses.
The ordeal taught everyone on the block a lesson:
- Don’t assume you know why a neighbor parks where they do.
- Leave a polite note before calling a tow truck.
- And always read the fine print on a little government sticker—because rules can cut both ways.
