If you\u2019re having difficulties deciphering what\u2019s really going on in his brain when your husband looks at another woman, you\u2019re just in the right place!
\nBefore I go deeper into the ogling behavior, I want you to imagine the following case scenario:<\/p>\n
You\u2019re sitting in a cafe or a restaurant with your husband and you\u2019re having a good time. You laugh, you drink, you eat, and everything seems idyllic.<\/p>\n
And then a woman enters the premises (or walks by your table) and the same second you notice that your man has raised his head to observe her head to toe.<\/p>\n
You instantly start feeling overwhelmed, confused, insecure, and in a way betrayed. You start asking yourself questions like:<\/p>\n
Does he think she\u2019s more beautiful and attractive than me? Does he want to be with her? OMG, what if he\u2019s already been with another woman?<\/p>\n
Men can\u2019t help but notice when a beautiful woman walks by. They can\u2019t help but react in the way that they do, to be attracted to women with certain features. It\u2019s in their nature.<\/p>\n
It\u2019s completely normal for men to look at other women.<\/p>\n
It\u2019s also completely normal for women to have that visceral, emotional reaction when they catch their partner looking.<\/p>\n
It\u2019s completely natural to want to know why men look, and what the look means.<\/p>\n
Allow me to explain\u2026<\/p>\n
What \u201cthe look\u201d means
\n\u2013 He finds her physically attractive.
\n\u2013 When he saw her, a chemical reaction happened in his brain. Neurotransmitters like dopamine and serotonin were released, giving him an involuntary surge of pleasure.
\n\u2013 Part of him wants her, or wonders what it would be like to be with her, in a completely harmless and innocent way.<\/p>\n
Just like you might be \u0455\u0454\u03c7\u03c5\u03b1\u2113\u2113\u0443 attracted to some of your favorites TV stars, and wonder what that might be like\u2026 but you wouldn\u2019t act on it.<\/p>\n
In an alternate universe where he was single and unattached, he might be interested in her as a sexual partner.<\/p>\n
What it doesn\u2019t mean
\n\u2013 He finds her more beautiful than you.
\n\u2013 He isn\u2019t attracted to you.
\n\u2013 He isn\u2019t happy with you, and your relationship.
\n\u2013 You don\u2019t satisfy him.
\n\u2013 You aren\u2019t _______ (attractive, skinny, s\u1d07x\u028f, loving, affectionate, etc.) enough for him.
\n\u2013 You should be angry at him, or jealous of her, or insecure about yourself or your body.
\n\u2013 He is unfaithful, or that he is going to cheat on you.
\n\u2013 Your relationship is doomed.<\/p>\n
Simply put, him looking has nothing to do with you at all. The world is full of beautiful sights \u2013 flowers and sunsets, great works of art \u2013 none more beautiful than the female body. It doesn\u2019t take anything away from you when your man admires a painting or sculpture. It doesn\u2019t diminish his love for you when he looks at another woman.<\/p>\n
When it\u2019s a problem
\nWhile it is normal for men to notice other women, to look and admire, and even fantasize a bit, there is a line of respect that a mature and committed man will not cross. Looking is one thing, staring is another; and it can be hurtful, embarrassing and offensive. As I experienced before, I cannot help my momentary reaction when I see an attractive woman. But once the moment passes, I quickly turn my attention back to the love of my life, the woman to whom I am faithfully devoted.<\/p>\n
Blatant staring, inappropriate comments, touching, flirting and (obviously) ch\u0454\u03b1t\u00edng are all red flags. This kind of behavior indicates that a man is either not mature enough to control himself, or he doesn\u2019t respect you (or women in general) or care enough about you to reign in his impulses. Either way, it doesn\u2019t bode well for the future of your union\u2026<\/p>\n
How to deal with your guy\u2019s roving eye
\n1. Don\u2019t assume
\nWhen you do notice your man looking at another woman, don\u2019t read too much into it. Remember what it means, and most importantly what it doesn\u2019t. A glance does not equal a betrayal. Remember that he loves you, he cares about you, he is committed to you, and he is still attracted to you. Of all the women in his life, he chooses to be with you.<\/p>\n
2. Set realistic expectations
\nWhen we hold our partner to impossible standards, it leads to a never-ending cycle of disappointment, hurt feelings, anger and frustration. No one wins. We have to get real about human nature and sexual desire. There are lots of beautiful women in the world, and you are not the only one that your guy finds attractive. Don\u2019t expect him not to notice or look at other women 100% of the time.<\/p>\n
3. Tell him how you feel
\nWhen your partner\u2019s roaming eye does hurt your feelings, or make you feel inadequate, tell him so. Practice Non-Violent Communication. Express your honest feelings without blaming, shaming or accusing him.<\/p>\n
4. Set healthy boundaries
\nIf your partner is committed to making your relationship work, he will be willing to work with you in setting some healthy boundaries. He shouldn\u2019t look too often, too long, or too blatantly. He should make every effort not to make you uncomfortable (or other women, for that matter). And most importantly, he should make it clear to you, in both his words and his actions, that he still wants you, and cares for you; he is still attracted to you, and committed to your relationship.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
If you\u2019re having difficulties deciphering what\u2019s really going on in his brain when your husband looks at another woman, you\u2019re just in the right place! Before I… <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_uf_show_specific_survey":0,"_uf_disable_surveys":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-20818","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-news"],"yoast_head":"\n