A three-year-old throws tantrums and begs his mother not to go to daycare. Worried, she goes in unannounced and what she sees shocks her.<\/p>\n
\u201cNo, mommy, no!\u201d Johnny threw himself on the floor and started screaming. Marla Evans sighed. Not again! She looked at her watch. If he threw a full tantrum, she would be late yet again.<\/p>\n
She gazed at her three-year-old with exasperation. Johnny had been going to daycare for two years and always loved it. For the last week, out of the blue, he\u2019d been making a scene, begging Marla not to take him.<\/p>\n
She\u2019d spoken to her pediatrician, and the doctor had told her that toddlers often went through the \u2018terrible threes.\u2019 \u201cStop it!\u201d Marla heard herself scream, then she saw the look of fear in her son\u2019s eyes. Something wasn\u2019t right.<\/p>\n
Marla sat down on the floor next to Johnny and coaxed him into her lap. He sobbed, pressing his little face against hers. Marla decided this was more than a tantrum, but what could be wrong?<\/p>\n
\u201cHoney,\u201d Marla said gently. \u201cI\u2019m sorry. Mommy didn\u2019t mean to snap.\u201d She rocked him until he stopped crying and asked gently, \u201cWhy don\u2019t you like daycare anymore?\u201d<\/p>\n
Raising a child is about setting and respecting boundaries.<\/p>\n
Johnny shivered in her arms and whispered, \u201cI don\u2019t like!\u201d
\n\u201cBut why, sweetie?\u201d Marla asked. \u201cAre the other kids mean?\u201d But Johnny wouldn\u2019t answer. Marla sighed. \u201cBaby, mommy needs to go to work, but I tell you what\u2026 I\u2019m going to come and get you from daycare early today, OK?\u201d<\/p>\n
Johnny sat up in her lap. \u201cNo lunch?\u201d He looked up at her anxiously. \u201cNo lunch, mommy?\u201d<\/p>\n
Lunch? The worried mom frowned. What was happening with her son?<\/p>\n
Marla dropped Johnny off after promising she\u2019d fetch him before lunch. He walked into the daycare quietly but threw Marla a pleading look that left her heartbroken.<\/p>\n
She went to work and asked her boss for the afternoon off to deal with a personal issue. Thankfully, her boss was a mom too and understood!<\/p>\n
Marla was determined to get to the bottom of Johnny\u2019s reluctance to go to daycare. She decided to drop in \u2014 not before lunchtime as she promised Johnny \u2014 but during the meal.<\/p>\n
Johnny\u2019s daycare didn\u2019t allow the parents into the children\u2019s playrooms or the dining room, but each door of the facility had a large, clear glass window. Hopefully, Marla would be able to see what \u2014 if anything \u2014 was going on.<\/p>\n
When she arrived, the receptionist told her the children were having lunch. Marla walked to the dining room and peered in. The kids were all sitting at their tables, eating.<\/p>\n
A teacher or an assistant supervised each table. Marla quickly spotted Johnny. There was a woman Marla didn\u2019t recognize sitting next to him.<\/p>\n
As Marla watched, the woman picked up Johnny\u2019s spoon, scooped up a portion of mashed potatoes, and pressed it against his lips. \u201cEat!\u201d she cried. Johnny shook his head violently, his mouth firmly closed, tears running down his cheeks.<\/p>\n
\u201cOpen your mouth and eat!\u201d the woman said angrily. Johnny was looking deeply distressed. The woman cried, \u201cYou are going to sit here until you clear your plate!\u201d<\/p>\n
Marla saw a small portion of mince, mash, and vegetables left on Johnny\u2019s plate, and she knew her son. Johnny was not a big eater; she never pushed it when he told her he\u2019d had enough.<\/p>\n
Johnny opened his mouth to protest, and the teacher quickly pushed the spoon in. Marla saw her son choke and sputter. She\u2019d had enough! She opened the door and stormed in.<\/p>\n
\u201cGet away from my son!\u201d she cried.<\/p>\n
The woman looked up, and her mouth hung open. \u201cParents aren\u2019t allowed in the dining room!\u201d she cried.<\/p>\n
\u201cThen they should be,\u201d Marla said, reining in her anger. \u201cCan\u2019t you see Johnny\u2019s had enough? He\u2019s a healthy boy, but he is not a big eater. As an educator, you should know how traumatic force-feeding a child can be.<\/p>\n
\u201cBeing forced to clean up the plate is an old-fashioned notion. You should be aware of the statistics and the causes of obesity and eating disorders in children.<\/p>\n
\u201cAnd one of them is making food an issue! My little boy is an active child, and if he feels he\u2019s had enough, you need to respect that and not force him to eat.<\/p>\n
\u201cAs for shoving food into a child\u2019s mouth in that way, it is reprehensible! You should certainly know better. These children are not puppets for you to manipulate at will!<\/p>\n
\u201cThey are little people with needs and a will of their own. If you don\u2019t respect their boundaries, you teach them they don\u2019t deserve respect. I don\u2019t think that is a message you want to pass on!\u201d<\/p>\n
The teacher flushed a bright red and got to her feet. \u201cI never\u2026\u201d she cried.<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s a pity,\u201d Marla said crisply. \u201cBecause if this happens again, I will ensure you are out of a job! I\u2019m not sending my son to daycare to be brutalized!\u201d<\/p>\n
Marla walked over to Johnny and tenderly wiped his mouth. \u201cCome on, honey,\u201d she said gently. \u201cMommy promised you a treat this afternoon!\u201d
\nMarla had a long talk with Johnny, and there was no tantrum the next morning. Over the next few weeks, she popped into the daycare at lunch times just to keep an eye on things.
\nThe teacher never forced Johnny to eat again, and the boy recovered his good humor and enthusiasm.<\/p>\n
What can we learn from this story?<\/p>\n
Children and their boundaries should be respected. Johnny\u2019s teacher was teaching him that adults had the right to impose their will on children against their welfare.<\/p>\n
Raising a child is about setting and respecting boundaries \u2014 theirs and ours. A child whose boundaries are not respected is insecure and has low self-esteem.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
A three-year-old throws tantrums and begs his mother not to go to daycare. Worried, she goes in unannounced and what she sees shocks her. \u201cNo, mommy, no!\u201d… <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_uf_show_specific_survey":0,"_uf_disable_surveys":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-27817","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-news"],"yoast_head":"\n