A blonde walks into Starbucks one morning and orders a coffee and a breakfast sandwich.<\/p>\n
She receives her breakfast sandwich from the Barista, finds a table, and sits down to eat.<\/p>\n
Keep a Bread Clip in Your Wallet When Traveling – It’s Genius
\nWG Life Hacks 102
\nWhile she\u2019s eating her breakfast she notices that there is a peel-and-win game piece on the side of her coffee cup.<\/p>\n
She pulls the game piece off, reads it, and immediately starts screaming and shouting \u201cOH my god \u2013 I won a motor home! I won a motor home!\u201d at the top of her lungs.<\/p>\n
The manager hears her and yells over to her \u201cMa\u2019am \u2013 you need to calm down!\u201d<\/p>\n
The blonde calls back (still screaming and dancing) \u201cBut I won a motor home! I won a motor home!\u201d<\/p>\n
The manager responds \u201cBut ma\u2019am, that\u2019s not even one of the prizes!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201coh yes it is \u2013 it says so right here!\u201d<\/p>\n
The manager takes the sticker and reads it. It says:<\/p>\n
\u201cWIN A BAGEL\u201d<\/p>\n
=========================<\/p>\n
An 85-year-old woman named Doris went to the DMV to renew her driver\u2019s license.<\/p>\n
The clerk looked at her paperwork and said, \u201cMa\u2019am, I see here that you haven\u2019t had a single traffic violation in 65 years! That\u2019s incredible!\u201d<\/p>\n
Doris beamed. \u201cThat\u2019s right, young man! I\u2019ve been driving since I was 20, and not once have I been pulled over, had an accident, or even gotten a parking ticket.\u201d<\/p>\n
The clerk was impressed. \u201cWell, that\u2019s quite an achievement. But given your age, I have to ask\u2014are you sure you still feel comfortable driving?\u201d<\/p>\n
Doris scoffed. \u201cOf course! I drive every day. I take my friends to bingo, I go to the grocery store, and I even drove myself here! I may be 85, but I have the reflexes of a cat and the vision of an eagle.\u201d<\/p>\n
The clerk nodded and handed her a vision test. \u201cAlright, let\u2019s just check your eyesight.\u201d<\/p>\n
Doris put on her thick glasses and peered into the vision machine. \u201cOh yes, I see it! There\u2019s a big \u2018E\u2019 at the top, then an \u2018F\u2019 and a \u2018P\u2019\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n
The clerk smiled. \u201cGreat! Now, can you read the second row?\u201d<\/p>\n
Doris squinted. \u201cHmm\u2026 I see a \u2018Q\u2019\u2026 or maybe an \u2018O\u2019? No, wait! It\u2019s a bicycle!\u201d<\/p>\n
The clerk frowned. \u201cMa\u2019am\u2026 there are only letters on the chart.\u201d<\/p>\n
Doris waved a hand. \u201cOh, I know! But at my age, I\u2019ve learned to predict traffic signs. If there\u2019s an \u2018O\u2019 and a \u2018P\u2019 together, that usually means \u2018STOP\u2019! And if there\u2019s a \u2018Q,\u2019 it means I should slow down because I\u2019m probably about to miss my turn.\u201d<\/p>\n
The clerk hesitated but decided to continue. \u201cAlright, let\u2019s move on to reaction time. I\u2019m going to tap the desk, and when I do, I want you to clap your hands as fast as possible.\u201d<\/p>\n
Doris nodded eagerly.<\/p>\n
The clerk tapped the desk.<\/p>\n
Doris sat still.<\/p>\n
The clerk tapped it again.<\/p>\n
Still nothing.<\/p>\n
Finally, after a full 30 seconds, Doris clapped her hands together.<\/p>\n
The clerk raised an eyebrow. \u201cUh\u2026 was there a delay?\u201d<\/p>\n
Doris chuckled. \u201cNo, dear, I was just finishing my sip of tea first. You should never rush a good Earl Grey.\u201d<\/p>\n
The clerk sighed. \u201cMa\u2019am, I\u2019m really not sure\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n
Just then, another DMV worker burst into the room. \u201cOh, thank goodness you\u2019re here, Mrs. Doris! Your car is blocking four spaces, there\u2019s a shopping cart wedged under your bumper, and your left blinker has been on for 20 minutes.\u201d<\/p>\n
Doris gasped. \u201cOh, my! That must have been someone else\u2019s car!\u201d<\/p>\n
The worker shook his head. \u201cMa\u2019am, it\u2019s a bright pink Cadillac with a \u2018Bingo Queen\u2019 bumper sticker and a bobblehead of Betty White on the dashboard.\u201d<\/p>\n
Doris thought for a moment. \u201cHmm\u2026 alright, maybe that was me. But in my defense, parking lots are confusing at my age! I remember when they were just dirt and horse hitching posts!\u201d<\/p>\n
The clerk took a deep breath. \u201cMa\u2019am\u2026 I think it might be time to consider giving up driving.\u201d<\/p>\n
Doris leaned in with a smirk. \u201cYoung man, I will stop driving the day I can\u2019t remember where I put my keys.\u201d<\/p>\n
The worker shook his head. \u201cMa\u2019am, your keys are in your hand.\u201d<\/p>\n
Doris laughed. \u201cWell, then I guess I\u2019m still good to go!\u201d<\/p>\n
And with that, she shuffled out the door, got in her car, and promptly drove off\u2014with her left blinker still flashing.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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