WOMAN GET STOPPED BY..

A little old lady was walking down the street dragging two large plastic garbage bags behind her. One of the bags was ripped, and every once in awhile, a $20 bill fell out onto the sidewalk. Noticing this, a Policeman stopped her, and said, “Ma’am, there are $20 bills falling Out of that bag. “Oh, really?

Darn it!” said the little old lady. “I’d better go back and see if I can find them. Thanks for telling me officer..”

“Well, now, not so fast,” said the cop. “Where did you get all that money? You didn’t steal it, did you? “Oh, no, no”, said the old lady. “You see, my back yard is right next to the football stadium parking lot. On game days, a lot of fans come and pee through a knot hole in the fence, right into my flower garden. It used to really tick me off. Kills the flowers, you know. Then I thought, ‘why not make the best of it?’

So, now, on game days, I stand behind the fence by the knot hole, real quiet, with my hedge clippers. Every time some guy sticks his pecker through my fence, I surprise him, Grab hold of it and say, ‘O.K., buddy! Give me $20, or off it comes. “Well, that seems only fair,” said the cop, laughing. “OK. Good luck! Oh, by the way, what’s in the other bag? “Well, you know”, said the little old lady, “not everybody pays.”

Related Posts

My Husband Used My Daughter’s College Fund to Buy a 1972 Ford Bronco, So I Brought Him Back Down to Earth

My husband Greg promised to secure our daughter Ava’s future. Instead, he spent her $45,000 college fund on a rusty 1972 Ford Bronco. That money came from…

The Supermarket Moment That Made Me Realize Just How Deeply He Loves Me

It was never really about the brand he chose. It was about the quiet fact that he had been paying attention all along. The way she reached…

“Dad… My Back Hurts So Much I Can’t Sleep,” My 8-Year-Old Whispered — And Then She Said Mom Told Her Not To Tell Me

The moment I returned home from a business trip, I expected the usual welcome: little feet running, laughter, and a hug from my eight-year-old daughter, Lily. Instead,…

Teacher Told My Daughter “You Don’t Deserve to Eat”—Then Found Out Who I Really Was

From the outside, wealth appears like a kind of armor—private planes, beautiful homes, constant comfort, and the ability to step away from the struggles most people face….

What I Learned After Hiring Professional House Cleaners for the First Time

When life became busier than usual, I decided it might be time to hire professional house cleaners for the first time. Between work, errands, and family responsibilities,…

MY K9 BANE HAD NEVER MISSED A COMMAND IN SEVEN YEARS UNTIL HE LUNGED AT A FIVE-YEAR-OLD GIRL IN FRONT OF TWO THOUSAND GASPING STUDENTS. ‘HE’S A MONSTER, GET HIM OFF HER!’ PRINCIPAL STERLING SCREAMED AS I PREPARED TO UNHOLSTER THE END OF MY CAREER. I WAS READY TO PUT BANE DOWN FOR THE UNFORGIVABLE ATTACK, BUT WHEN I SAW WHAT WAS TAPED TO THE UNDERSIDE OF THAT CHAIR, MY HAND STAYED ON MY SIDEARM FOR A VERY DIFFERENT REASON.

CHAPTER I The humidity in the Lincoln High gymnasium was a physical weight, thick with the scent of floor wax and the nervous energy of two thousand…