Little Johnny farts in the classroom, causing his teacher to get really upset and throw him out. Sitting outside the class, he can’t stop laughing. The principal walks by and asks, “Little Johnny, why are you sitting outside your class laughing?”
“I farted in class and the teacher threw me out,” Johnny replies.
The principal asks again, “Well then, why are you laughing?”
“Because those idiots are sitting in the class smelling my fart while I’m outside in the fresh air,” Johnny says with a grin.
When my daughter was little, my wife taught her a special code. If she ever asked, “Is Grandpa Jo coming to dinner?” it didn’t mean she was…
My name is Steven Wallace. I’m fifty-seven, and I paid in full for the forty-two-foot motor yacht called Diana’s Dream that became the setting for one of…
The scent of charcoal smoke drifted through the backyard on what was supposed to be a quiet afternoon. Mark stood by the grill, keeping an eye on…
Every morning before dawn, I watched my seventy-year-old stepfather, Patrick, pedal down the street with a bag of newspapers, rain or snow. He smiled as he rode,…
My daughter Zoey knew something was wrong the moment she saw me dressed for the board meeting. The night before, the CEO’s wife had mistaken me for…
I met my adoptive mother when I was twelve, and if I’m honest, I didn’t love her—not then. To me, she was simply a way out of…