Do you fart in bed ?

If this story doesn’t make you cry for laughing so hard, let me know and I’ll pray for you. This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years, the only friction in their marriage was the husband’s habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke the noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air.

Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick. He told her he couldn’t stop it and that it was perfectly natural. She told him to see a doctor, she was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out.

The years went by and he continued to rip them out. Then one Christmas day morning, as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the innards, neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts, and a malicious thought came to her. She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling the bed covers back, she pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts. Sometime later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bath room.

The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good. About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his blood stained underpants with a look of horror on his face.

She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter. He said, “Honey you were right… all these years you have warned me and I didn’t listen to you.” “What do you mean?” asked his wife. “Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened, but by the grace of god, some Vaseline and two fingers. I think I got most of them back in……………….…..”

Related Posts

These are the first symptoms of cr…See more

Have you or someone you know noticed dark, velvety patches of skin on the back of the neck or under the arms? While it may look like…

My Mother Hated Me for Looking Like My Biological Father

All my life, I felt like an outsider in my own family. My mother adored my sisters but treated me like a burden. The reason? I looked…

She Refused To Have An Abortion At 17, Now 31 Years Later Her Son Is World Famous

Pattie Mellette is a scriptwriter and producer – but today, she’s most known as the mother of pop sensation Justin Beiber. However, few people know much about…

13 dead and 20 missing in Central Texas after…See more

At least 13 people have died and over 20 campers remain unaccounted for in the wake of catastrophic flooding in Kerr County, Texas. The flooding began Friday…

Missing girl found in the woods, her father was the one who…See More

The minor was last seen when she left her home in the Santa Martha Acatitla neighborhood to go to a nearby store. According to relatives, Perla Alison…

Trump Deploys U.S. Marines to…See More

The U.S. military has confirmed a controversial new deployment: 200 U.S. Marines are being sent to Florida to assist Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) with logistical and…