A woman finds Aladdin’s magic lamp.

She starts rubbing it and a Genie comes out as usual.

The woman looks at the Genie and asks him to grant her wishes:

She says

“I want my husband to have eyes only for me.

I want to be the only one in his life.

I want him to sleep always by my side.

I want that when he gets up in the morning I’m the first thing he grabs and takes me everywhere he goes.”

The Genie turned her into a Smart Phone…

Little Johnny is sitting in class one day, and the teacher is going to go over agricultural stuff, like farms, and whatnot.

So she asks the class how does a farmer tell the weather on his farm, nobody seems to know, except of course, little johnny, who’s frantically waving his hand with the answer, so she decides to let him try to answer the question.

Little Johnny says: the farmer uses a weather vane to tell the weather!”

ok, that wasn’t so bad, so the teacher then asks the class what kind of animal is the weather vane?

again no one but little Johnny seems to know the answer.

Reluctantly she lets him answer.

Little Johnny says with a big smile on his face: “why teacher, it’s a cock!”,

well the teacher sighs to herself well after all it is.

So next the teacher asks the class:

” can anyone tell me why does the farmer use a cock on the barn as a weather vane?”

Of course, the same dumb blank look on all of the kid’s faces, except of course, for little Johnny,

again she reluctantly allows him to answer the question, knowing she’s probably not gonna like the way he phrases it.

Little Johnny stands up in front of the whole class and sez with a really big grin on his face:

“It’s a cock, cuz as everyone knows if it were a c*nt, the f*cken wind would just blow right thru it!”