A man is sitting on his porch when he notices two blondes working down the road.

They both have shovels. One of the blondes digs a hole, and the other immediately fills it in.

The man watches them for a few hours and finally approaches them, “You guys look like you’re working hard.

But I’m not sure what you’re trying to accomplish.”

One of the blondes replies, “Well, there’s usually three of us, but the one that plants the trees is sick.”
============================

A young private sought permission from his Commanding Officer to leave camp the following weekend.

“You see,” he explained, “my wife`s expecting.”

“Oh…” said the Officer, “I understand. Go ahead and tell your wife that I wish her luck.”

The following week the same soldier was back again with the same explanation: “My wife`s expecting.”

The Officer looked surprised. “Still expecting?” he said, “Well, well, my boy, you must be pretty bothered. Of course you can have the week-end off.”

When the same soldier appeared again the third week, however, the Officer lost his temper. “Don`t tell me your wife is still expecting!” he bellowed.

“Yes sir!” said the soldier resolutely, “She`s still expecting.”

“What in heaven is she expecting?” cried the Officer.

“Me.” said the soldier simply.
=================================

It was early morning at the military base, and the first sergeant was calling out names for the daily work parties listed on a piece of paper:

“Ames” “Here!” “Jenson” “Here!” “Jones” “Here!” “Magersky” “Here!” “Seeback”

No answer.

“Seeback!”

No answer was heard again.

“SEEBACK!!!” The troops remained totally silent.

At that point, someone whispered into the first sergeant’s ear. He looked again at what the last name really said, quickly turned over the list and continued calling the names printed on the other side.