Three Military Jokes With Unexpected Endings

A trucker stopped at a roadside diner and ordered a cheeseburger, a cup of coffee, and a slice of cherry pie. Before he could take a bite, three large bikers walked in. One grabbed his burger, another drank his coffee, and the third took his pie. Without saying a word, the trucker stood up, paid his bill, and quietly walked out. A customer shook his head and said, “Guess he wasn’t much of a man.” The cashier smiled and replied, “Maybe not—but he’s not much of a driver either. He just backed over three motorcycles on his way out.”

At an Army base, the first sergeant was calling roll for the day’s assignments. “Ames!” “Here!” “Jenson!” “Here!” “Jones!” “Here!” Then he shouted, “Seeback!” No answer. He called the name again, louder this time, but the troops remained completely silent. After a soldier leaned over and whispered in his ear, the sergeant glanced back at the paper, turned it over with a red face, and continued reading the names from the other side.

Years later, a newly assigned general noticed something strange on his base. Two soldiers stood guard over an old wooden bench every hour of every day. Curious, he asked officers and longtime personnel why it was being guarded, but nobody knew. They all said it had been done that way for decades because it was “tradition.”

Determined to solve the mystery, the general tracked down the retired commander who had led the base more than thirty-five years earlier. When asked why the bench was always protected, the old commander looked stunned before bursting into laughter. “Wait,” he said, “are you telling me they’re still guarding it? We only posted soldiers there because we had just painted the bench and didn’t want anyone sitting on it..

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