Wife: I have a bag full of used clothing I’d like to give away.

Husband: Why not just throw it in the trash? That’s much easier.

Wife: But there are poor starving people who can really use all these clothes.

Husband: Honey, anyone who fits into your clothing is not starving… ?

A wife finds a note from her husband on the fridge one morning..

My dear wife,

You will surely understand that I have certain needs that you, being 57 years old can no longer satisfy. I am very happy with you and I value you as a good wife. Therefore, after reading this letter, I hope that you will not wrongfully interpret the fact that I will be spending the evening with my 19 year old secretary at the comfort inn hotel.

Please don’t be upset – I shall be home before midnight. When the man came home late that night, he found the following note on the dining table…

My dear husband,

I received your letter and thank you for your honesty about me being 57 years old. I would like to take this opportunity to remind you that you are also 57 years old.

As you know I am a maths teacher at our local college. I would like to inform you that while you read this, I will be at the Hotel Fiesta with Michael, one of my students, who is also the assistant tennis coach. He is young virile and, like your secretary, is 19 years old.

As a successful businessman who has an excellent knowledge of maths, you will understand that we are in the same situation, although with one small difference – 19 goes into 57 more times than 57 goes into 19. Therefore, I will not be home until sometime tomorrow.